Catholic Scientology

Ella Wrong-Cupboard

On Sunday, our diocese was pleased to host an ecumenical Catholic-Scientology service, conducted in the Lady Chapel of Trollbridge Cathedral by Mrs Ella Wrong-Cupboard, the famous Operating Thetan and Friend of Pluto (that's poor hungry Pluto in the picture above).

We sang some lively new hymns about how the Xenu came to Earth, and how the Way to Happiness involves taking all our worldly goods and giving them to the Religious Technology Centre in California. Also, Trollbridge's own Father Arthur preached an impassioned sermon explaining that as a result of Vatican II it was clear that Catholicism had to open its doors to other faiths, especially those that were not tied down by old-fashioned notions such as morality, duty and Godliness.



And there are diversities of operations, but the same God, who worketh all in all.
St Paul, believed to have been a high-level scientologist (1 Cor. 12:6)

Hussain greets you

Greetings, gentlemen! (If any shameless women are reading this blog, then I would ask them to get back to their duties of washing, cooking, massaging the camels, etc.) My name is Hussain, and I am the cousin of Abdallah the camel-dealer, who lives in Bradford with his numerous wives and children. Like Abdallah, I am a very pious Muslim, and think that Mohammed was a jolly good chap. As for that Koran book... wow! you won't find a better read, not even Effendi Cutley's racy new novel "Confessions of a school-teacher."

Two of my wives (probably Wofulla and Molybasha)

I live in the sacred city of Trollford, and I am truly grateful to Bishop Sletter for allowing me to post here, in a spirit of ecumenism. After all, are not Muslim beliefs and Catholic beliefs almost identical, when you come down to it? I'm sure that Oona Beattie would agree.

Well what a lovely day it is today. I am looking forward to Friday, when we men get a chance to go to the mosque and hear Mullah Al-Djolsaan preaching on "How to smite the infidel using only a pair of shoes and a packet of cornflakes". Then, perhaps, I will start a jihad against someone or search through the Koran looking for the more juicy bits. After that, we may try and get a stoning organized. Oh it is great to be a Muslim in modern Britain.