Tuesday 21 February 2012

Hussain greets you

Greetings, gentlemen! (If any shameless women are reading this blog, then I would ask them to get back to their duties of washing, cooking, massaging the camels, etc.) My name is Hussain, and I am the cousin of Abdallah the camel-dealer, who lives in Bradford with his numerous wives and children. Like Abdallah, I am a very pious Muslim, and think that Mohammed was a jolly good chap. As for that Koran book... wow! you won't find a better read, not even Effendi Cutley's racy new novel "Confessions of a school-teacher."

Two of my wives (probably Wofulla and Molybasha)















I live in the sacred city of Trollford, and I am truly grateful to Bishop Sletter for allowing me to post here, in a spirit of ecumenism. After all, are not Muslim beliefs and Catholic beliefs almost identical, when you come down to it? I'm sure that Oona Beattie would agree.

Well what a lovely day it is today. I am looking forward to Friday, when we men get a chance to go to the mosque and hear Mullah Al-Djolsaan preaching on "How to smite the infidel using only a pair of shoes and a packet of cornflakes". Then, perhaps, I will start a jihad against someone or search through the Koran looking for the more juicy bits. After that, we may try and get a stoning organized. Oh it is great to be a Muslim in modern Britain.
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1 comment:

  1. Polly21 February 2012 at 16:53

    So nice to see you again, Hussein. You may remember we met at my ecumenical musical soiree "Ramadanadingdong" at the Ernest Bevin Memorial Hall in Trollford, last year. I have huge respect for your culture, and my friend Cat Stevens said that my burkha really suits me and I should wear it more often. It is marvellously comfortable, and I don't have to shave more than once a weak when wearing it - and it is much handier than dungarees for the chemical loos at Glastonbury.

    Canon Lewis and I are holding another ecumenical event for "People of the Book" on "Good Friday".

    It will be a combined Agape Feast and Passover meal, with halal vegetarian tofurkeyburgers and accompanied by our very own diocesan folk choir "Eagle Swings" performing Mongolian throat-singing accompanied by the Cardinal Vogon school steel band.

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